“Is it normal to use sex toys?” Let’s be real for a second, the fact that you’re even asking this tells me a lot. It tells me you’re curious, you’re thoughtful, and maybe you feel a little bit of hesitation or even shame. Trust me, I’ve been there. My inbox is full of messages from people, just like you, who are wondering the exact same thing. So, let me give you the short, sweet, and totally honest answer: Yes, it is absolutely, 100% normal to use sex toys.
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Is It Normal to Use Sex Toys? Let’s Talk About It, Honestly.
Let’s start with a question you’ve probably typed into Google a few times, maybe late at night when no one’s around: “Is it normal to use sex toys?”
And let’s be real for a second, the fact that you’re even asking this tells me a lot. It tells me you’re curious, you’re thoughtful, and maybe you feel a little bit of hesitation or even shame. Trust me, I’ve been there. My inbox is full of messages from people, just like you, who are wondering the exact same thing. And after years of coaching and writing about sexual wellness, I’ve found that this question, more than almost any other, is one of the most common.
So, let me give you the short, sweet, and totally honest answer: Yes, it is absolutely, 100% normal to use sex toys.
In fact, it’s not just normal, it’s a huge part of modern sexual wellness for millions of people worldwide. We’re talking about folks of all genders, ages, relationship statuses, and backgrounds. Think of it like this: your kitchen has a blender, a microwave, and a toaster, each one designed to make a part of your life better. Sex toys are the same, they’re just tools designed to enhance pleasure and make your intimate life better. Simple as that.
I remember my own journey, years ago, when I first started exploring this topic. I was in a long-term relationship and we were looking for a way to spice things up. The idea of buying a toy felt… well, kind of weird. Like we were admitting something was wrong. But after taking the plunge, I realized something truly profound: it wasn’t about fixing a problem, it was about adding more joy, more fun, and more connection to our sex life. And that’s what this article is all about, breaking down the myths and showing you why it’s not only okay, but a beautiful, healthy thing to explore.
The Numbers Don’t Lie, Sex Toys Are Mainstream
Let’s put some facts behind this. You might feel like you’re alone in this, but I promise you, you’re not. According to a recent global survey by Statista in 2022, over 50% of women and nearly 40% of men reported using a sex toy at least once. For example, a study in The Journal of Sexual Medicine found that 52.5% of women reported vibrator use—and that recent users scored significantly higher on validated measures of arousal, orgasm, lubrication, and overall sexual function. Think about that for a minute. That’s billions of people. This isn’t some niche, underground thing anymore, it’s a part of our culture. It’s a sign that we as a society are finally getting more comfortable talking about pleasure and what it means for us.
I’ve also seen a huge shift in the industry itself. Brands like Lelo, We-Vibe, and Womanizer aren’t just selling products, they’re building a community around sexual empowerment. They’re making toys that are sleek, discreet, and even beautiful. They’ve moved beyond the cheesy adult store and into the world of luxury, wellness, and self-care. This shift has done wonders for normalizing the conversation.
Why People Are Using Sex Toys, It’s Not What You Think
When people ask, “Is it normal to use sex toys?” they often have an idea in their head of who uses them: a single person who can’t find a partner, or a couple with a “dead bedroom.” And that’s just not the case. In my experience, people use sex toys for so many different, beautiful reasons:
To Discover Yourself: This is probably the biggest one. A sex toy is a fantastic tool for solo exploration. It’s like a conversation you have with your own body, learning what feels good, what you like, and what makes you feel alive. This knowledge is empowering and can massively improve your confidence and communication with a partner.
To Improve Relationships: I’ve worked with countless couples who have found that toys were a total game-changer for their intimacy. They introduce a sense of playfulness and novelty. It’s a way to explore new sensations together and get out of a rut. It’s not about replacing your partner, but about adding a third party to the bedroom fun, a partner in pleasure. If you’re curious about this, you can read more about how Do Sex Toys Improve Relationships? 7 Proven Ways.
For Health and Wellness: Let’s not forget the health benefits. Orgasms release endorphins and oxytocin, which are natural stress-reducers and mood boosters. I’ve had clients use them for everything from managing stress to improving sleep. For people dealing with things like vaginal dryness, erectile dysfunction, or anxiety around sex, sex toys can be a gentle, safe, and effective way to rediscover pleasure.
Because it feels good! Let’s be real, sometimes the reason is just that simple. Pleasure is a fundamental human right. There’s nothing wrong with seeking out joy and using a tool to get there.
The Fear Factor, Why We Still Feel Weird About It
So, if it’s so normal and so beneficial, why is there still a stigma? Why do we still get that little voice in our head saying, “Is it normal to use sex toys?”
Well, a lot of it comes down to outdated cultural and social norms. For a long time, the conversation around sex has been focused on procreation, not pleasure. We were taught that sex was something you did with a partner in a specific way, and anything else was somehow “dirty” or “wrong.” These old beliefs are still in our subconscious, and it takes time and conscious effort to unlearn them.
Another big part of it is fear of the unknown. We worry about things like, “Is it safe?”, “Can I get an infection?”, or “Will it hurt?”. These are all valid questions, and it’s a good thing to be informed. That’s why it’s so important to talk about things like body-safe materials and proper cleaning. In my experience, the more you learn, the less scary it becomes. In fact, many toys are made from medical-grade silicone, which is one of the safest materials you can put in or on your body. You can learn more about materials in this article: Silicone vs Jelly Sex Toys: What’s Safe & What to Avoid.
A Word of Advice, The Friendly Expert’s Guide
As a sexual wellness coach, my job is to guide you on this journey without judgment. So, if you’re thinking about taking the plunge, here’s my advice to you:
Start Simple: You don’t need to jump straight to a high-tech vibrator with 10 different settings. A simple bullet vibrator or a small personal massager is a fantastic place to start. It allows you to explore and get comfortable with the idea without feeling overwhelmed. Our guide on the Best Couples Vibrator for First Time Users (2025 Guide) can be a good starting point.
Focus on Body-Safe Materials: This is a non-negotiable for me. Always look for medical-grade silicone, glass, or stainless steel. Steer clear of “jelly” or “TPE” materials, as they’re porous and can harbor bacteria. Trust me on this one.
Cleanliness is Key: Just like anything else you use on your body, hygiene is paramount. Always clean your toys before and after each use with warm water and a mild soap or a dedicated toy cleaner. It’s a simple step that makes all the difference. I’ve written a whole article on this: How to Properly Clean Sex Toys: 5 Essential Tips for Safety and Longevity.
Listen to Yourself: This is your journey. Don’t feel pressured by what you see online or what your friends might be doing. Take it at your own pace. If a particular toy or experience doesn’t feel right, that’s okay. Pleasure is personal, and the most important thing is that you’re comfortable and having fun.
Educate Yourself: The more you know, the more confident you’ll feel. Reading articles like this one, watching videos from reputable educators, and talking to your partner (if you have one) can make the whole experience so much better.
Final Thoughts, Your Pleasure, Your Rules
So, let’s circle back to that original question: is it normal to use sex toys?
My answer remains a heartfelt and confident yes. It’s a completely normal, healthy, and empowering part of modern sexual wellness. It’s a way to explore your body, deepen your connection with a partner, relieve stress, and just have some fun.
The shame and stigma around it are leftovers from a time when we didn’t talk about these things openly. But we’re in a new era now, one where pleasure is seen as a vital part of a happy, healthy life.
So go ahead, explore, learn, and have fun. Your pleasure is yours, and there’s no shame in seeking it out.
FAQ: Is It Normal to Use Sex Toys?
1. Is it normal to use sex toys if I’m in a relationship?
Yes, absolutely! Many people in relationships, both new and long-term, use sex toys to introduce novelty and excitement. It can be a great way to improve communication and explore new sensations together, ultimately strengthening your bond.
2. Is using sex toys bad for my health or can they cause infections?
No, not at all, as long as you’re using them safely. The key is to choose high-quality, body-safe materials like medical-grade silicone and to clean them properly after every use. For more details on this, check out our article on Can Sex Toys Cause Infections? Truth, Tips, and How to Stay Safe.
3. Do sex toys replace a real person?
No, they definitely don’t! Sex toys are tools for pleasure, not replacements for human connection. They can enhance your intimate life, whether you’re alone or with a partner, but they can’t replace the emotional intimacy and connection that comes with another person.
4. How do I even start? It feels a little overwhelming.
Start small and simple! Think about what you’re curious about, whether it’s external stimulation or something else. A simple bullet vibrator is a great first step. Don’t rush it, and just have fun with the exploration.
5. How can I feel less weird about buying a sex toy?
It’s a common feeling, but remember, buying a sex toy is a form of self-care. Many online stores now offer discreet packaging, so no one has to know what’s in the box. Focus on the positive reasons you’re doing it, like self-discovery or fun, and the “weirdness” will likely fade.
